Why should I care? I already have your money.

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Leslie Flowers' great post on Taking it To The Source led me to post this.

You have two options when you receive sub par service or defective merchandise. You can go to management to make it right, or say nothing and pay anyway.

I got tired of saying nothing and paying anyway. It didn't resolve things to satisfaction, it left me irritated all the time, and it didn't exactly help that gaping wound called my pocketbook.

We're being conditioned these days to just shut up and take it. Give us your money, we'll basically forget that you keep us employed, and we'll move on to the next sucker. Why should we care if you are unhappy? We already have your money.

I have a close friend who sees this sort of thing in black and white. When she receives something she ordered that is in a nasty state of disarray--basically, the opposite of what she was promised when she was induced by the marketing to order it--I encourage her to send it back or talk to management. She thinks that it isn't worth making a stir over $5 here and there, and sometimes, even over $10. Yet, she hates that this money is just trickling away for nothing.

I tell her time and again that approaching management to right something is her, well, right! Whether she pays $20 for something that's overcooked, or $4 by something being mislabeled. By the way, that 'friend' is me.

Should we actually "complain?"

Perhaps it starts with the very word we use to describe this step: complaint. None of us wants to look high-maintenance, have our food spit in, ruin the night for anyone else, or fuss over such and such for $4.50.

I propose we change the name of this step to feedback. Feedback is just that. It can be positive or negative, and it can be given positively or negatively. Why not try some negative feedback in a positive manner?

I remember an experience where my family went out for our weekly buffalo wing binge with a side of beer and basketball. Normally, these wings are tops. But this day, the wings were beyond terrible. They were tiny, overcooked, no meat on the bones. You could use them for weapons, but you weren't getting any feelings of fullness from them. I turned to my husband and said, "I don't know if they decided to buy from a different vendor, but I'm not paying $20 for dried skin."

Now, before that day I would have said nothing, more than likely, or forced my husband to do the dirty work. See what I did there? "Dirty work." It shouldn't be dirty work!

But on this day, I decided to see it as feedback.

And as a fellow business owner, I at that momemt didn't feel like a customer--I felt like an ally to this business, and I felt it was my duty to point some things out in a way that management could fix it before it blew up in their face with a family of four later. I now felt obligated, guilty even, for NOT saying something. That's not to sound holier than thou--it's to sound responsible for helping keep local business IN business.

I asked our waiter to get the manager and send him over to our table. When he arrived:

--I greeted him with a sincere smile and introduced myself.
--I explained that we were regulars and we came in regularly because of the wings.
--I asked if they had decided to buy wings elsewhere, because I noticed a significant difference.

He explained that they ran out of wings the day before due to a sports tournament; it was unexpected, and they were forced to buy wings from the store. He said he knew they were different. In response, I:

--congratulated him on, in some aspects, a good problem to have (massive orders)
--agreed wholeheartedly with him that the wings were not enjoyable, pointing out specifics without being critical
--expressed my desire to continue coming back, but only if this wasn't going to be a regular thing
all with a smile, but with sincerity

In return, he (as he should have) offered to send out more wings on the house. I would have rather not paid for the wings we had, as there wasn't anything on the bones. I chose in this case, however, to add another order, hoping a larger quantity would help make us feel like we had finally had a full meal. It worked out alright, and I moved on. After all, I knew it wasn't intentional, management did immediately offer to bring more out at no charge.

(Something I did keep to myself was the thought that if everyone from waitstaff to management saw those wings and had the same opinion, that they should not have allowed anyone to order them. Offering sub par merchandise is worse than simply saying you are out, in my book. However, Wings is part of their business name, so they may have felt obligated. I didn't push it. Hakuna matata.)

Now, could I have gotten my lunch comped by being a jerk, or yelling, or insulting the manager or establishment? Sure. But things would never have been the same. Now, if things are bad enough, once or multiple times, that I don't even want to patronize the business anymore, I will now let them know that, too. I'll let them know I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore--but professionally, sternly, calmly, like an adult. I can simply take my wallet to their competitor, sure--but now, I can leave feedback on my way out.

I also plan to use--and ask for--those feedback comment cards. Both to leave negative feedback, and good feedback (say, when's the last time we told a manager something good about the staff, service, or food? Efficiency, helpfulness, quality?).

The point I'm making is: Perhaps if we change the way we look at resolving problems with customer service or products, we'll change how we approach it, and how we resolve those problems will change as well.

What say you?

Happy resolving!

Michelle Gower provides kicka** results for kicka** people at Gower Power Consulting, a WordPress training, mentoring, and assistance authority, in Raleigh, N.C. for the solopreneur, WordPress provider, and small business owner. She can be reached at [e-mail] or at 919-228-8450, and of course, her wit can be enjoyed in full glory at http://www.facebook.com/gowerpowernc. She is about to teach How to Build a WordPress Website course at Wake Tech Community College to small business owners just like you starting February 13. Register now.

[Leslie Flowers]

Honored to inspire Michelle. Wonderful article. I agree with Cedric. Your shining a spotlight on the simple changing of a word along with a conscious shift in attitude, really does make life much simpler. We may think management is not interested, yet when you set your 'context' to be of service and for their greater good, terrific things happened.

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Thank you for the feedback, Cedric and Leslie. :)

[Christine Alexander]

I hate getting ripped off or burned.... it is a major trigger of mine. What I have learned is that I need to choose my battles - some are worth it for me to let go -- and some, not. 2 weeks ago I went in and had a cavity filled and 10 days later after it was throbbing with pain - they told me it would need to be a root canal.... Ok, lets see.... perfect tooth/root before they touched my tooth, bad tooth/root 10 days later..... I was so steamed inside but held it in .... yesterday I emailed my "thoughts" about them and the injustice of their business model (Pay us to work on your tooth, then pay us to fix our big mistake)
Anyways - haven't heard back from them - not much they can do now as I wont use them again - yet, very bad business for a new practice in a very small town.

Thanks for letting me vent:-)

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Christine,

To be sure, unfortunately not every company will respond in a way that most people would consider to be courteous or considerate. My hope is that for those who feel that their only options are to say nothing or rip someone's head off will see that constructive feedback can be a great way to get the point across without giving themselves a stroke or a bad day. Thanks for sharing!!

[Phoenix - Operations Assistant]

Usually, the only time that I let something go - when I'm 5minutes down the road from the drive-through. No reason ever, to be a brat about making sure that what I ordered or purchased is just the way it is either advertised or ordered.

My raspberry latte, really needs to be a raspberry latte, not a watered down warm milk. justsayin'

[Robin Thomas]

I'm so glad to read this article, Michelle. Finding a way to be assertive AND positive- I want to shout it out to the world. We shouldn't be doormats, but having hissy fits rarely benefits anyone. Thanks for sharing!

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Phoeniz - the last time I was on a road trip, I went through a drive through. After repeating my order 3 times, and having it repeated back to me, guess what got dropped in my bag. I was on the road when I discovered it, and the next exit to go back was 5 miles up the way, so I just threw it out. I had an appointment to be at!

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Robin, it's just so easy to go somewhere and ream someone out for not meeting your standards. I think there is certainly a time and a place for outright anger and the demonstration of such, but most of the things I see people hollering about are things that a simple smile and a "can you help me resolve this" will get taken care of much faster and better.

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Thanks for the comment, Kathy!

It's amazing how easy we find it to gripe and complain, but a terrible inconvenience to be constructive or *gasp* provide a testimonial!

Part of local biz success in my book is helping to guide others past the potholes and missteps. I'm sure several microbusinesses have closed because nobody bothered to give feedback that could have saved the business.

[Pat Howlett]

"Constructive Feedback" is what all business owners should want and what we should give.

To me it's "Business Gift" when someone will take the time to tell me where my business is failing (in their eyes) and where we're hitting it out the park - it's my choice as to how I use this information and the actions I take.

Another great article that teaches. Featured!