Ok, Michelle, this one's for you. ;)
Bob's drama, part 2:
Today, our realtor emailed a contract for us to sign and return (about
4pm). Problem was, Bob was asleep. (Hmmm, this is important so I must
wake him to get a signature - illegal to forge.) So, of course, I waited
till the last possible minute. He got up and initialed/ signed the
pages. Then he realized he had signed on the date line. I told him it
didn't matter, just date the other line. He got upset and complained
about me waking him up and walking away. I repeated that it didn't
matter where the signature was. He stated that 'next time I needed to
walk him through the pages'. I walked away.
My daughter wasn't home when I returned; I saw that I'd missed a call
from my son - assumed that she had gone to see him at work. Bob was up -
hadn't gone back to sleep. Bob got angry because daughter wasn't where
she was "supposed to be"
Daughter came in, and there ensued a confrontation-turned-fit that any
2-year old would be proud of. Bob realized a few minutes into this that I
wasn't being sucked in, so he turned to daughter #2 and ranted to her
about the college thing - again. He then proceeded upstairs to daughter
#1's room and ranted some more. He stated the "new rule" that she was to
come straight home and not go anywhere without express permission, and
that next time she wandered off, to just keep going.
He then wanted to corner me and "discuss" this some more. I made sure I
had a clear path to the door. (I know this game well.) I didn't get
sucked in this time either. His frustration and control / anger issues
are not my fault nor my responsibility. He talked for a while, then got
ready early for work. I had some business to attend to, so I left. He
was gone when I returned. Both daughters had retreated to their rooms.
It was hours before they emerged.
I'm going to need to teach them how not to get sucked in, too.
Tips on how not to get sucked in:
1. Do not allow yourself to become emotionally involved in the drama. Learn to be a spectator.
2. Do not escalate the situation.
3. Allow yourself to walk away.
4. Allow yourself to leave the situation entirely.
5. Call a friend for support.
6. Realize that the other person's drama is THEIRS, not yours. Your participation is completely optional.
I'd love to hear from you! Please leave your comments. Thanks for reading so far!