Are you really who you seem to be?

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Are you making your accomplishments look bigger than they are?

Are you worried that others may think you haven't accomplished enough, so your own pleasure at meeting a goal isn't as strong as it could be?

Do you streeeetch the truth so others think you've accomplished more than you have, or more than you are confident to report? 

I saw a great message from a nationally-known author. He speaks around the country, commands very high fees, and has been featured in numerous, large publications. He has a very large following. 

This is verifiable - use your GoogleFu.

This is what he posted yesterday evening:

"To give you an idea, we ordered 35 copies of my new book today seperately for different clients/etc... And it ranked the book #700 on Amazon and one of the "best-selling" business books.

35 copies.

Remember that when you see someone claim to write a best-selling book. Like me :)"

 

-UnMarketing

Besides the refreshing honesty - he could have EASILY just left it at 'one of the best selling business books.' That sure would have sold more of them, wouldn't it?

But he didn't. He was transparent to the point that it could have hurt him or his brand. "A national author but not a #1 author? What a liar!" But that honesty will only serve to win him morefans, I think.

There are several ways that we stretch the truth - whether intentionally or not:

1. We write misleading headlines on our articles or blog posts.Not the kind designed to tease you and get you to open it up - you make a claim that can't be backed up by anyone with internet access and five minutes of spare time. Don't assume that others can't figure out when you've pulled a fast one on them. You don't get many opportunities to redeem yourself after that.

2. We fudge our content.We create scenarios that didn't actually happen, or relay our viewpoint of a situation that occurred in which we are painted with a nicer brush than the one that was actually used.

3. We make up testimonials.Maybe you have clients who just can't get around to recommending you even though you rocked the house for them. Maybe you only have had one or two clients and don't feel confident asking them for their words. So you make them up. You might be able to back up what you say about yourself, but putting a fictitious name on them is leaning towards lying, would you agree?

4. We change our title according to the occasion.Maybe we call ourselves the Featured Speaker when we're really part of a group of speakers who each get 10 minutes. Perhaps we call ourselves an Author when we haven't yet published a book, even through Lulu. 

...and I'm sure you can think of more, but I think you get my point.

That's what I'm pondering today. I think it boils down to basic insecurity - we ourselves are not proud of the actual accomplishment - or feel that it is 'too small' to be of any significance to anyone else as it is in its present state. Not worth tooting our horn over, in other words.  

So we modify things so that we create a picture that is 'more acceptable.'

The question is: more acceptable to who? To others? Or to you? 

Food for thought?

 

Michelle Gower provides kicka** results for kicka** people at Gower Power Consulting, a premier WordPress training, coaching, and solutions authority for business and bloggers, in Raleigh, N.C.

She can be reached at [e-mail] and, her wit can be enjoyed in full glory at http://www.facebook.com/gowerpowernc.

She is about to teach Beginning WordPress at Wake Tech Community College to awesome small business owners and freelancers just like you starting July 23. Get in while you can.

Copyright 2012 Michelle Gower. No part of this article may be redistributed, in part or whole, without express written permission from the author.

[Christine Alexander]

Great article Gower .... I think what is going on here is many have learned too much from internet marketers.

In the internet world, you can say whatever you like and people are so gullible. My favorite is the well known copywriter or internet marketer who makes sure they slip into their writing that they are writing in Paris, or that they are writing during a layover to Hawaii .....

Or, the "Learn how to get rich" who always weave in all the things that show people how much money they want them to think they have. The thing is, they are not rich because of knowing anything other than getting you to buy their products.

They name drop, seed mentions of others in their alliance and the list goes on and on. But most people do not see it.

The thing is, it works.

[Leslie Flowers]

Hubristic pride. The opposite of authentic pride is what is coming to mind for me. And this is a self image issue absolutely. People who build themselves up, no matter in what arena or how (bullies are one example), are worried about what others think of them .. and that it's not good. That's because what they think of themselves is not good! And they don't know that as many will like them as will not ... that it matters what THEY think of themselves.

As to buying 35 books ... I watched a friend years ago 'figure out' the HOW to be a best seller on amazon ... it's a formula and has NOTHING TO DO WITH QUALITY OF CONTENT. Nothing at all.

So when I hear 35 books sold or watch people align their friends to buy on a single day to put themselves in the elite status based on friendship, NOT on quality or expertise necessarily ... and it is legal ... well, is it REAL? Perception is reality. I thought to myself gee I'll be 50 of my own book and be #1!!! So again, MONEY talks. It is Hubristic pride that drives them ... the wanting to be better than everyone else in their own mind, certainly not in the minds of the 3%. But hey, it's the 97% that buys into this stuff to begin with!

Enjoyed this one Michelle!

[Christine Alexander]

Michelle pulled a "drive-by post"
Shame on you! :-)

[Christine Alexander]

I am going to write an article titled "Why Drive-by Posts are Wrong"

[Jeannie Whyte]

Loved your article, Michelle.

Have to admit that as someone who has worked from home for the past several years, once the internet came along and it was a necessity to learn how to use "social media," it seems that you absolutely have to hone your discernment skills to know who and what to believe.

For me, I'll be very happy when the world is no longer driven by believes that you have to lie, compete, and do shame-less self-promotion. And whatever happened to faith that there is always going to be enough for everyone?

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

Oh Christine, I didn't drive by and shoot at you! I was helping a friend create a video today :)

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

@Christine - this is also true (the internet marketing realm) - all these experts who, if you spend 5 minutes asking them some point-blank questions, won't be able to give you a straight answer. For me personally, I'd be more afraid of that than anything else - when you can prove what you DO say, or accomplish, or whathaveyou, then you don't have to puff it up with anything else.

As you say, tho, yes it works - on those who would wish to skip the necessary steps and actual work required to build a brand. IMO those people are after ego stroking, a quick buck, or both.

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

@Leslie yes, very prideful I would agree - pride can certainly create lies and blowing things out of proportion. But when others find out (and they always do) that you weren't being forthright and honest about your achievement, or speaker bio, you can't win that trust back. It's the same as lying to someone's face these days.

[Michelle Gower-WordPress Mentor]

@Jeannie, I would equate what you are saying to the times back in the day when online dating started - I guess that's an old school social media if you will, but yes - even back then - it seems that even when you are given every opportunity to sell yourself on who you are, many would choose to display a 10 year old photo, list jobs or positions they never held, etc.

[Christine Alexander]

You came - shot your ammunition all over ... then left:-)