6 Super Hero Tips to Better Listening

[Diogenes Ruiz]

If the bad habit of talking too much and not listening were a villain, then this is one could kill your business. Here are six powerful tips to help you become a business superhero through better listening.

The villain: Blab Earno

Blab is extremely dangerous. It takes over a person’s mouth and forces it to work overtime, thus preventing the transfer of critical information from one party to another. Blab Earno’s powers are extraordinary. At times it will cast its infamous “blabber brain” spell which makes you focus on what you’re going to say, after another person finishes speaking, instead of paying attention to what that person is saying. Another of Blab’s favorite spells is the “interruptus maximus” which makes people constantly interrupt the person speaking. Blab knows that the better you are at listening and understanding what another person is saying, the greater your chances for success. Therefore, this villain will try to divert your attention from the truth.

Overcoming Blab Earno

The best way to do away with Blab is to keep your mouth closed for longer periods of time. Don’t say as much. Listen, and don’t just pretend to listen. Try to really understand what the person is saying. Give 100% of your attention while the other person speaks. Look into their eyes. When you feel the urge to jump out of your skin to say something, don’t do it while the other person is speaking. Catching that .003 millisecond pause between the other person’s sentences does not count. That’s called interruption.

This is tough to do at first, but you can do it. Risk not making the brightest comment, not showing how much you know, not having the satisfaction of correcting the person that is speaking. Stop reacting to what you hear and listen to understand what is being said in its complete context. Instead of reacting to the person, take a moment to think and then you can respond, after the individual has finished.

A good way to sharpen your listening skills is to ask questions that are based on your understanding of what has just been said. Sometimes you might want to repeat part of what you understand, in the question, to let the other person validate that it is indeed correct.
Summary – To overcome Blab Earno:
1. Analyze your listening habits.
2. Make eye contact with the person speaking.
3. Be still and attentive
4. Work at understanding what is being said.
5. Ask reinforcing questions
6. Do not interrupt the person speaking.
In short become a better listener by becoming less of a blab.

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Copyright 2012, Diogenes Ruiz

For more information on becoming a business superhero, visit www.superherocards.com
This article is an excerpt from the workbook entitled "Unleash the Super Hero Inside" by Diogenes Ruiz 

[Leslie Flowers]

Listening is a powerful skill that is not taught in school. I expect we learn this from our parents, if we do at all. This is a great reminder, Diogenes. If one is all about self-service and what's in it for them, they won't like these 6 tips! Those who know that being in-service is how one becomes successful, they will find value and embrace this! I love it when you speak to the 'choir' and I'm in the choir!

[Diogenes Ruiz]

Leslie - thanks for your comment. I am amazed at how many times I have to remind myself of basic things like active listening. It does take practice and sometimes it is hard to keep my mouth shut, but I work on this one everyday. This is especially true when emotions are running high, either because you want to close a deal or want to prove a point.

Always great to get input from you!

[Angel Lebak ~ Virtual Assistant]

Great tips Diogenes!

[Brenda Priest]

I was speaking to someone, socially, I had just met at a weekend bbq. She would not let me get a word in. I was frustrated. Afterward, I was thinking, did I really have anything to say to benefit the conversation. Perhaps she really needed to talk. Determined I was better-off just listening. Not sure if I will ever see her again but I think my role in the interaction was to listen! In business, am I that way? Do I monopolize the conversation? Thanks for the thoughts Diogenes!

[Diogenes Ruiz]

Thanks Angel!

[Diogenes Ruiz]

Brenda - I can relate - that is like being subjected to a verbal machine gun. Stuff just keeps coming at you, in spite of your body language which may be showing signs of listening fatigue...and people keep right on talking. You're probably right in thinking that she needed to talk. Some folks resort to talking as a way to vent anxiety and nervousness. For a business owner that is a lethal combination. It was nice of you to hang in there and listen to her rant in that social setting. My guess is that you are probably a very patient person and a good listener.
Thanks for your great comment.

[Robin Thomas]

I do love these tips. Most of the time I listen carefully, but there are occasions when I find myself talking too much. Mostly when I get excited about a topic, including my own business. ;~) Most of the time listening sincerely is the best action for any conversation, and I need to remember that on a daily basis. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Diogenes.

[Diogenes Ruiz]

Robin - I think most of us are guilty of a little running of the mouth when we are excited and talking about our own businesses. Sometimes it is hard to contain that enthusiasm. I think the Inside919 gatherings are a really good place for practicing our listening skills. Thanks for your comment!

[Diogenes Ruiz]

Beverly - By "reinforcing questions" I mean questions that contain your understanding of what was said. For example if you and I are talking about possibly having you speak at a conference on marketing that I may be planning, you might mention your pricing and terms. My questions might be something like "If we go forward with this project, you require a 50% deposit before we are officially on your calendar, is that correct Beverly?" Your answer would either "reinforce" my understanding "Yes that is correct." or it is an opportunity for you to correct what I thought I heard.

You might have actually said that you "don't" require a 50% deposit before officially booking it on your calendar. It's a small correction with cash flow implications. (BTW - I hope you get the 50% up front)

Thanks for taking the time to comment - always a treat to hear from you!

[Whitney Hill]

Us networkers really like to talk...I noticed that some of the best sales reps do not say a lot.